Mike's Mission – Finding my place in the Son

Gen3:9  Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” 10He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” 11And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”…

When I first decided to give this blog a rebirth, I never imagined it would be such a struggle to push the “Publish” button. That night, I finished the rewrite…. then I hovered around it…. sat beside it…. read it…. re-read it… hovered some more… and then hit the button… a back and forth saga that lasted about forty five minutes.

I really thought I would feel a sense of excitement once the trigger was pulled, but instead a cloud of uneasiness, a sense of dread even, settled over me and I was suddenly afraid.  Why?  What was I afraid of? Initially many seemed supportive so I should have been fine.

Perhaps it was because, in a sense, I had committed myself to be naked in front of you.

I don’t like looking at myself naked… either physically or figuratively. Physically I am a middle aged man with a soft belly and man boobs divided by vertical scar that serves as a constant reminder of my mortality.  And in spite of my wife telling me I am cute, I completely understand that my days in a Speed-o are over… well… maybe I never looked good in a Speed-o, but you know what I mean.

Figuratively, like for many of us, looking at the nakedness of who we REALLY are is often intimidating, stressful and many times disappointing.

Whether you are a biblical scholar or not, you are all probably familiar with the story of Adam and Eve.  In a nutshell God made these two beautiful creatures and plunked these crazy kids down in a lush garden paradise.  All they had to do was enjoy.  But instead they decided to go exploring and got tricked into doing something that God told them not to.  In the eating of the forbidden fruit, they took upon themselves the power to determine what is right and what is wrong and forever saddled mankind with the need to wrestle with expectations and to guard and protect ourselves from showing our shortcomings and making ourselves vulnerable.

Do you think Adam and Eve were hiding from God because their bodies were uncovered.  No, God knew every inch of their bodies… He made them!  I believe the fig leaves had more to do with their nakedness before each other than God.  I believe they were more afraid of God seeing the nakedness of their heart. They realized what they had done, and experienced guilt as a result of disobeying their creator. The Bible calls that sin.

On the outside, we cover up with the finest fig leaves and present the image that we have it all together and are living good lives… and that may be true… on the outside.  But what about inside? … What about our hearts? … What about our thought life?  What about our real attitudes about certain people and circumstances?  If your coworkers could look inside you head and watch a movie of what is actually going through your mind, would you be comfortable with that?  What about your spouse or family?   What about your best friend?  Can you transparently show the real you to your best friend?

We hide behind our figurative fig leaves because we are afraid that if anyone really knew the real us, we would be shunned… even ostracized.  But what about God?

Were Adam and Eve able to hide their failure from God?  God asked, “Why are you hiding” and their response was “we’re naked”… God asked, “Who told you that” or “Why do you feel that way”, did you do what I told you not to?”   They could not hide their weaknesses and failures from God.  Neither can we.

That is an important realization for me as I begin this quest to discover more deeply who I am in Christ. I seek to develop the kind of relationship with him that is rich, joyful and freeing; one that spills over in love and impacts all those other naked souls I meet. But I can’t do it without getting naked.

One of the struggles we face is that we believe we are terminally unique in our “inner man”… that NOBODY could imagine accepting us if they only knew the kinds of things we think about or do behind closed doors.  Well I have news for you.  Nothing in your head or in your heart is a surprise to God.  He knows it all already and your are not the only one to have ever had those thoughts, feelings or desires.  God surrounds us with others who can understand on many levels and who can relate and help your realize you are not alone.

I think everyone needs at least one person that they can be completely transparent with.  The bible tells us to share our burdens with one another, but that can be hard since so many of us have seen “the army of the church” shoot its wounded.  So we need to be careful of who we open up to.  We can’t just trust anyone with our heart. Find someone who loves you enough that they would hold your heart carefully and privately.  Who knows, you may find they have things they struggle with too and could use your ear.

Most importantly we have to glimpse God’s love for us.  All the housecleaning he wants to do in us if for our benefit…  Not to hold us down or to take away the fun in life, but to give us a chance to live life the way he intended; Joyful and Free. I believe he yearns to walk through life with us and to guide us and protect as we parents would our children.

King David said this in the Psalms 139, ” 23Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; 24And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.”

That is my prayer today… that God search my heart… look through every nook and cranny of my thoughts, every attitude, even my worries and see if there is anything offensive, and if there is lead me out of it.  Even typing this makes me nervous… nervous because if I invite him in, he will bring me to a change in heart no matter how painful or uncomfortable the surgery may be.

May of 2001, after experiencing some weakness on the golf course, my wife convinced me to see the doctor.  They determined it was time for a heart cath to look inside.  I will never forget the cardiologist looking down at me on the table and ask, “Mike, do you have a surgeon?”  A SURGEON????   The disease in my heart was so advanced that I needed bypass surgery.  I tried to fend off his suggestions with assurances that I would come in next week after I got some things taken care of, but he would hear none of it.  If I expected to be alive next week, the surgery would be in the morning. Needless to say, I was again naked and afraid.

I know if, like David, I honestly ask God to search my heart, then like the surgeon he will act on whatever he finds.  As I look back, the Quadruple Bypass I received on that table not only kept me alive but gave me back the quality of life that didn’t even realize was gone.  I believe that as I become more transparent and I am shown and acknowledge my problem areas that God in his mercy and faithfulness will do what ever necessary to arrest the “Heart Disease” and move me forward to an every increasing quality of life that leaves its mark wherever I go… And that is what I am counting on.

If you know what I am talking about, then I hope you will please consider bringing in a faithful friend, calling the surgeon and getting ride of those things that seek to destroy you. Get back your joy, your hope… your life. GET NAKED!