Two funerals in 3 days.
The first, for my friend Dick, was on Saturday afternoon. Dick was a great guy and everybody loved him. Always positive, usually smiling and never without a word of encouragement, he loved his family with out boundaries and faithfully served the Lord and those that God put in his path. The sanctuary was full of friends who gathered from near and far with the intent of celebrating a life well lived. People smiled and laughed as stories and memories were shared. His wife of 60 years even got up, thanked everyone for being there and shared how blessed she was to have been married to this loving and caring man of God. In spite of the loss the atmosphere was up beat and culminated in an old-timey ice cream social following the memorial. Dick had a long, wonderful life and everyone who knew him was better for it. He was 87.
But what about Bob?
His funeral was Monday. Bob too was a great guy! As the person charged with sharing some reflections on his life said, “Everyone who called Bob friend was made to feel like they were his best friend.” He was that kind of guy; funny, smart, witty, caring, giving, selfless, humble… the list goes on. He was madly in love with his wife and gave of himself to many organizations making a difference in our community. He was a strong man of faith and used that lens to view the world around him. But in contrast, the large crowd that gathered in honor of Bob weren’t laughing and cutting up. There was a much more somber air in the room. Faces resembled that of a deer in the headlights as people tried to wrap their minds around this sudden and unexpected loss. Eyes filled with tears and muffled sobs were heard throughout the sanctuary. His wife, so consumed with grief, was barely able to carry herself down the aisle. And although he and Dick shared many qualities we would all aspire to, the atmosphere was dramatically different… and there was no ice cream social.
He was only 47… How do we make sense of that?
Both men were givers. Both were kind and caring. Both loved God and both held a priority of serving others. Why then would God see fit to give Dick 87 years and Bob only 47? It doesn’t make any sense. I mean, we look at Dick and thank God for his many years and although we grieve his passing, there is a sense of fairness in his longevity. We applaud the idea of his hearing “Well done, good and faithful servant” on his arrival to his reward.
But what about Bob?
Bob was in his hay day of being able to contribute to the betterment of mankind… and yet… His passing leaves my head, and I am sure the heads of many others, full of questions and frustrations. I am sure Bob got the same “Well Done” greeting that Dick received and perhaps therein lies the answer I seek.
We search the scriptures and find famous passages that tell us that God’s ways are higher than our ways, and I believe that. BUT that doesn’t help me to make sense of this. And frankly it makes me a little mad. Why does one great guy get 87 years and another only 47. They were both operating out of a servants heart and impacted the world for good. To put it in sports terms, I would think that God would want as many of his team players on the field as possible. In my eyes Bob’s playing career was far from over. How does it make sense to pull a star player out of the game when he was consistently advancing the ball down the field.
Obviously, I am not God. I will probably never find an answer that completely satisfies my question, “Why”? This situation is not fair… at least from our standards. I sometimes have a tendency to want to create God in MY image instead of the other way around. I want him to be fair and equitable and that is just not the way things always happen.
So what do I do? What choice do I have? I can stomp my feet and shake my fists to the heavens but it won’t change a thing. Perhaps I just need to change my perspective.
Maybe it is not about how long, but how well we live. Maybe it is about taking advantage of every minute available to love one another and extend a helping hand. Maybe it is about trusting God in the tough, hard to understand parts of life even when we can’t make sense of it. If we believe, as the Bible says that God is Love, and everything he does and allows is based in that love, the we have to trust in his wisdom that somehow, the ultimate outcome will be just.
Today, that thought feels more like words than a true reconciliation in my spirit. I am still a little bit mad at God because I am selfish and will miss my friends. But that does not change my responsibility to seek him and come to know him better each day… I must trust him as my God and my creator, whether it makes sense to me or not.
I am sure Dick would tell me to relax, and that he is in a better place. He would encourage me to carry on with the mission as God reveals it to me. And he would tell me quit wasting time, because we are not guaranteed tomorrow and to base my life in love and service to my family, my friends, my community and the world… and in that I will find peace.
So what about Bob?
I am sure Bob would say the same.
Mike's Mission - Finding my place in the Son 